What Vanna Wore Tonight
reporting Vanna White's nightly glamorous perfection in a gushing and embellished manner
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Vanna really shined like the gem that she is tonight. This rich purple jewel tone dress with crystal accents on the crossing straps (front and back) was like a perfectly framed amethyst set in a delicate setting. The rich purple was gorgeous and the sheen on the fabric was accented in perfect lustrous harmony with the crystals on the straps. Perhaps the crowning jewel of the dress was the way it perfect cupped her breasts like the most roundest cabochons at Cartier.
I swear her inner light really make this dress shine brighter.
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A candy colored sorbet dream! Really, this dress deserves to be churned into a homemade dessert and served at a winter origami party. Raspberry has never looked so luxurious as on this satin creation and the decadent rhinestone straps acted like extra lustrous sprinkles topping off a delicious treat. I’m sure Vanna sent the Wheel Watchers of the world running for a treat… though nothing is as sweet as she is!
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What’s not to adore about a Cinderella blue evening gown which revealed its magic in layers of frothy chiffon? Vanna looked like a Disney apparition, the hem danced over the stage like champagne bubbles finding their way to the surface of a crystal flute or was it more like pixies jumping on a trampoline…? . The dynamic of the hem, slit and train worked together was like all levels of the feudal system functioning at its best. The item that pulled the entire thing together was the diamond embellished belt that dainty encircled Vanna’s waste… I’m sure it could easily be converted into a tiara.
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Though the palette is not one of my favorites as I tend to like bright and classic colors as apposed to damp browns bordering on mildew the watercolor like blend of colors was rather nice. The layers floating down from a strapless neckline reminded me of the sheer curtains hanging in my grandmother’s farm house when they intertwined with a cool September breeze. It might have resembled a wet calico but the warm hues were well balanced with Vanna’s skin and this woman could make a consumptives handkerchief look divine!
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How do you turn a long, satin, fire engine red nightgown into an evening gown? Add diamonds of course!
This is a sexy satin column dress dripping with diamonds along the neckline giving a smoldering fire and ice feel to the evening. While the diamonds gave the illusion of icicles dripping on her boson the bottom of the dress whipped about like flames licking Vanna’s legs in lustful desire. The dualities were stunning complements to each other just like Pat and Vanna.
I imagine Vanna leaving the set in a full length white mink and driving off into the dark night in a chauffeured Rolls while the young male contestants drool from the dimmed set.
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There is nothing to revive one’s fashion spirit like a one shouldered frock in a lemon-lime multi-skin animal print on shiny fabric. The print on this number was something that would make Roberto Cavalli drool. The fabric morphed into a leopard, zebra and tiger skin hybrid on Mendelsonian proportions. As Vanna moved the print transformed into a mesmerizing vision - like an exotic cat in motion, shifting and straining as it stalked its prey (in this case vowels). The one shoulder design added to the exotic sensibility, it was as if she woke up in the Serengeti and tied this genetic mutation over her stunning figure with the sole purpose of battling insufferable word puzzles.
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Yes, that is a gap between her legs. Vanna wore pants tonight.
… its like when you do something so horrendous and out of character as a child that you don’t want to talk about it or acknowledge that it happened and you won’t do anything like it again for years…
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Lei me!
If a lei could be turned into a dress then the result would not be much different then the frock Vanna fanned around in tonight. It was a flowing dress, snug around the bosom which was accented with a lovely deep V neckline. This dress would have been a failure without movement and luckily the letter-board kept lighting up like penny slots machines at Branson retirement home. As she swept across the stage the layers of pink fabric revealed burst of yellow, blue and purple constantly flowering into new forms of south pacific botanical wonder.
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Metals are hard, often durable elements, compounds and alloys while often also being amazing conductors of electricity and great for setting jewelry. Tonight Vanna gave Wheel Watchers of the world a science lesson in how to harness nature and transform it into soft, flowing, metallic wonder. This rich metallic dress with a black chiffon overlay burst like molten lava flowing towards people too awed to run for their lives. The top 3/4 of this one shoulder wonder was masked in a light lace and sequence and beads which smoldered under the lights. Vanna’s tanned skin perfectly complemented the hue and sent positive ions into the hearts of America.
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A fire engine red confection that was part Belle Watling brothel wear and part Rose Parade float. Vanna went all out tonight wearing a strapless gown covered in rows upon rows on top of rows of red lace. Her hair was curled and a bit flouncier than usual which worked well to balance out the volume in the skirt. At times the train sulked behind like a wet beach towel but I blame this on faulty wiring in the armature.
